1. |
7th October 1984
01:31
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“I miss whispering down the phone, now my hands cold to the touch. I must go before the floods rush in again, you’re happier when you don’t see me much.
Our star was out, alone all by itself.”
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2. |
Precognition
02:39
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Now through the blanket fog, now through the city, now comes the point of exasperation.
Now dead on the long rides out, now such a pity, now comes the point where the reckoning began.
I can’t pretend I don’t reach out, abroad on tour too sore to shout.
I sleep in the isle, drift in and doubt. This loneliness eats my insides out.
Oh too tactile for comfort, dejection can be.
We lie alone in crowded rooms even.
The reds and greens in the melancholy, paint a selfish life which was not meant for me.
How have I let this happen? How did I not see?
How did the rain drip through closed windows?
How far did you let him go, how far out at sea?
How sad, my life is just my bag of clothes.
I’m sick of the seconds, I’m sick of the hours. I was never this way, not before the drought.
I tell myself some days I’m better without, when I lay to sleep at night it’s all I think about.
But to feel your bones beside my bones, I would feel less alone.
Though when no one’s left, when nowhere is home, we live and die alone.
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3. |
I'm A Hex
02:03
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You were right about me, It hit me today.
Through the city I traipsed, through its lonely greys.
At once it all hit me, I have “no real connection”.
I held no promise ring and with my hand on your hips and you on my lips I still didn’t feel a thing.
With the smoke in the air and the cutting red, I could be sat in hell here right on your bed.
We all become what we hate, lets call this my fate? I can’t find myself of late.
So it seems that the empty space has sucked the life force out of me.
We are all such bitter souls, with no concern for repercussions.
You don’t say a lot but you say too much. Don’t put your hand out you wont feel my touch.
I deliberate as we talk, calibrate too much. Your eyes are crash victims, tonight I’m their crutch.
Then like a coffee nap, back to the room I snap with caffeine shakes. Can I stay? I can’t.
As I pace out the door, I let out a sigh. I get closer each time.
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4. |
Black Ice & Bad Advice
02:30
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On the night you came in, I wasn’t sleeping.
I felt the “waiting room tension” when I asked you where you’d been.
You said “the hardest part of growing up is not knowing where you’re growing to”.
So then you had a couple more drinks and I began to mirror you.
You won’t see Christmas if you carry on this way, just know it’s ok that you don’t feel ok.
On the night you came in I was the ceiling you’d confide to in your bedroom on your lonesome nights in.
It was the late hours of the night, you were still in early hours of mourning.
No it was not raining outside, but in your kitchen it was pouring.
You won’t see Christmas if you carry on this way, know it’s ok that you don’t feel ok.
As your heavy heart stumbles on ice, I’ll be your amateur shrink for just another night.
Bloodshot eyed, you asked me why girls only seemed to like the others.
A domino effect, you introspect.
I said “the kind of girls you like only like the boys, who they wouldn’t want to take home to meet their mothers.”
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5. |
The Death Rattle
02:40
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You were like a siren song, drew him in and left him there for dead.
A ship had hit an iceberg somewhere in your head.
When you left that night I didn’t quite know what to expect.
You whispered in his ears, you told me you said:
“I’m not proud of what I am, but I thought you saw more in me. I’ve grown so low without you that all I see is roots of trees. When we go out at night you don’t know how hard I try not to cut the stars from your eyes and return them to the sky.”
You just sat there on the bed, while he played you records, eyes as soulless as the act you seek.
But you’ll see all these things fall in to their places.
Who likes a girl who hates the replacements?
Don’t waste your tears on me dear, it’s you who’ll rust.
Now as quick as this started, it’s gone in the dust.
I took it like I never took it before. The merging colours that I once adored faded through my self loathing. Now I’m your finger nails, sat beside the sadness in your cuticles.
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6. |
4 Months
03:03
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You know they only want you because they can’t have you, the immediate majority are heartless.
The things that they say only pull you down, you’re better off apart from it.
I quit this game a long time ago in my plight, though I still hear voices at night.
It’s been so long that the walls talk me through personal flaws.
In the dead of the night you’re still calling, but the sight of that bedroom still haunts me.
I paced around this floor till my feet went black.
I made my mind up, I kept my promise and I walked you back.
You know they only take you when they can’t take more. Too awkward to face the walk home.
When you wonder around aimless in department stores, it’s sad that this refuge isn’t something more substantial.
I’ve been away far too long to let these black blues dissipate.
Girl I’m so tired but I can’t sleep to save my life, I know it’s late but do you think you could come by?
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7. |
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So I’m out in town, trawling around right past the store where you work.
The sunlight burns my eyes as last night Ben and I drank till the hour hurt.
We stretch the minutes out, like skin over bone.
Its 1PM I don’t go in, I tease myself but never do.
I don’t need the shoes you sell and though we’ve still never met, I never want us to.
Because I don’t feel much of anything, I just feign things these days.
Having something I’ll never chase just fills the empty space.
Could this black hole and its subtle nuances, trick me into thinking that this is more than it is?
You text my phone, you said “I saw someone who looked a lot like you” and as I saw my face in the elevator glass, for a second I thought I did too.
I can’t recall when it hit me, but it must have been months ago.
I’m coffee wired but still feeling tired, who knows if I’ll make the show tonight.
I’m lead while you walk on air. I’m as blank as the white ties and tails on Fred Astaire.
The grey and the silver reflect the ‘West Quay’ light.
In the twilight of my youth I try to forget my life.
This train derailed, right from its tracks.
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8. |
Crystal Effigy
01:10
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You slipped on my shoes, you let the laces hang loose on the old beat up vans.
It was late in the night, you looked back on your life from the lines in your hands.
Don’t fear dearest friend, the ever approaching end.
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9. |
The Power To Charm
02:52
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It’s getting late too late in the day, for this to be undone.
I rise and fall between the walls. I am the setting sun.
Sat across looking down, all of my failures tonight surround me.
I just can’t seem to get it right, what became of our warm lit winter nights?
This club is cold but the show was fun and so was I but not for long.
I guess I’m never home, tours never done.
I’m no good for you, I’m no good for anyone.
Tragic I drink to bad pop songs.
And you were watching me, do you ever think of me baby?
And do you remember when I’d call you that and you’d call it back?
You would call me it back.
I breathe out the past and in the air, the truth is that it’s better here.
If anything it’s easier that I don’t miss you, I just miss the way you were.
Behind your eyes once sit fire.
“It’s not you but what you represent I miss, youth slipping from my finger tips.”
Well you’ve got it- We’re Immortal and miserable. We never grow old and never grow up.
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10. |
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I’ve walked this hall a thousand times, stood in the dark peered through the blinds.
I reminisce with such sorrow and collect thoughts from nights forgotten long ago.
So passed out/you were sleeping, although I’d watch and I’d wait and feel the life pour from the walls.
Blissful in the silence, the wraith would look up and carry you away.
Now we are every night you drink up late, we’re a broken/shattered dinner plate.
The remnants we’d both borrow and place on mantles so we’d not forget.
And as we both grow up, and you grow older still, I still don’t understand, perhaps I never will.
I reminisce with such sorrow. I collect pieces of things I’ve never known.
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11. |
Naglfar
00:38
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I saw a light outside the window, the glowing gold clear the dust.
I saw a light outside the window, I thought about the two of us.
I saw a light outside the window, from the bed- one off empty.
I saw a light outside the window, just as something went out in me.
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12. |
The Reckoning
03:48
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I long to be your eyes and ears, to see the world from a consummate position.
I want to be the reckoning, approaching ever faster through the fields behind you.
I long to be your lasting fears, I want to be your midnight apparitions.
I want to be the sound only you hear when you yawn. Let me be the sweat in your pores.
As I’ve seen elation before, though I’ve felt seen anything like ‘the famous light’.
I had to go. But does no longer despair reside behind dead eyes at night.
I warned you so. I feared the call and fought the tired spells.
Every night I lose a life but I feel most alive in these little deaths.
I saw the year in stood here, though I never noticed any of the passing hours.
Despondency is not new to me. Hazy eyes, early hours become sanctuary.
The closing year became clear. I clean my hands of its struggle, heartbreak and misery.
You’re made of everything I’d always thought had given up on me.
I was worried they had me, I feared the waning moon had burnt out in spite.
Though I feel the frost beneath my feet, I feel the freeze begin to fleet.
In separate beds, in cutting weather, slowly you’re putting my pieces back together.
We are the 6am sermon, the silent oration. No one hears and no one knows that I once was so broken.
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13. |
Angel Of Mercy
08:36
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Awake but trying to sleep.
I was the shadow by your window, I was the glitter in his teeth. The things you noticed from the start, pure of heart.
The wraith. I am the enmity who sang to you on your break ups, who held your hand when you were weak. Though I swore we’d never part, pure of heart.
What if it all amounts to nothing and we’re portraits hung in empty halls?
I swoon constantly at everything in front of me, but I don’t belong here anymore.
It’s late but you need to know I’ve always loved you.
From the time you both made eyes, to the first time he stayed the night. I pulled myself apart, pure of heart.
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